Not the Breast Choice

So I think perhaps one of the simplest things that annoys me is inappropriate breast placement. Now, I’m not talking giant breast on cartoon characters or anything like that. I’m talking about the girl at your work that didn’t seem to get the memo on what flatters her body and what definitely does not.

We’ve all seen it. Some busty woman wearing a shirt with a neat little empire waist stitch meant to cradle the bossom and show off the girls, but instead, it’s awkwardly draped upon a giant rack. It still calls attention to the breast, of course, but not in a good way. Your cans just went from big to sloppy. Here’s an example of a shirt of this cut worn properly:

Now, when not worn correctly, the seam either rests awkwardly mid boob, or worse, creates another set of breasts… a boob quad of sorts. Oof. This really gets to me for the following reasons:

1. Why insist on wearing this cut? When you bought this, did you really think, “Yes, this is an excellent shirt for me and my curves!” There are so many other cuts of clothing out there for women. If you want to accent your breasts, wear a v neck or something fitted, ladies.

2. It’s an in-your-face to the less endowed.

3. It just doesn’t look good and this distracts me. In my head I’m picking out a new outfit for you, What Not to Wear style.

4. It strikes without warning.

Now remember kids, friend don’t let friends suffer from inappropriate breast placement. Do your part to keep them girls in line, or in this case, appropriately above the seam line.

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Filed under Comedy, Culture, random

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