Monthly Archives: June 2009

Moonwalk Your Way to the Big Guy, Michael

And so the world has lost the King of Pop. Wow, I’m really blown away by this one. Michael Jackson was a true artistic genius, and despite his many oddities, this is how we will remember him. He found tremendous success early on in his career with the Jackson 5 and then moving on to make arguably the best pop album of all time, Thriller. 7/9 tracks made the Top 10, and Jackson was officially a superstar.

Michael could dance, he could sing and he could certainly keep us intrigued. I remember loving his songs as a child, and being troubled by the the allegations made against the ever-whitening star in his later years. I remember him holding “Blanket” out over a balcony, and I can picture the leagues of fans that stayed outside of the court each day of his 2004 trial. There was one woman in particular who released a dove with each charge that was dropped. To these fans, he could do no wrong.

Meanwhile, this is a man who has twice been accused of being a sex offender, but he will be remembered for The Moonwalk, for asking, “Annie, are you okay?” and for “Beat It.” It is our ability to overlook his faults, outlandishness and severe errors in judgment that made him all the more a star. He had an unquestionable impact on music and helped shape what music videos would become. His inventive choreography, rhinestone glove and infectious beats will overpower the memories of his troubling plastic surgeries, short and ever so puzzling marriage to Lisa Marie Presley and the Jesus Juice he allegedly served to minors.

According to Jackson’s record label, SONY, 5 of his solo albums (Off the Wall, “Thriller, Bad, Dangerous and HIStory) are among the top-sellers of all time. Over the course of his monumental career, he sold an estimated 750 million records worldwide, released 13 No.1 singles and became one of only a handful of artists to be inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He was recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the Most Successful Entertainer of All Time and Thriller as the Biggest Selling Album of All Time. This unreal talent earned Jackson 13 Grammy Awards and the American Music Award’s Artist of the Century Award.

For nearly 40 years, he intrigued us, in good times and in bad. We enjoyed his glorious highs, and we witnessed his terrible lows. Whether you endlessly love him or will be forever creeped out by him, all of these details are what made Michael the undeniable artistic genius he came to be. RIP Michael.

You will be missed.

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Filed under Culture, Current, Entertainment, news

Yet Another Reason to Love Craigslist

Actual post kids:

Lil Wayne wanted


Reply to: gigs-w3a3t-1218083689@craigslist.org

Date: 2009-06-12, 12:27PM EDT

My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.

Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price. Interested individuals please let me know your rap experience, video of you performing as Lil Wayne would be better. If that is not feasible we can arrange for a live audition.

Serious inquiries only, this is very important to my family. Young Money Baby!

Wow. I love that this posting makes it seem as though the actual Lil Wayne was contacted, but now the best alternative is simply anyone who can pull one over on a thug lovin’ blind teenager. Can you grunt? Can you mumble? Are you okay with a not-so-honest buck? Well then “Young Money Baby!”

Does his belt buckled actually say RAPE?

Admit it; you so want an invite to this one.

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Filed under Comedy, Entertainment, random

My Myspace Man: Take 5

J Gutta writes:

you look very sexy i would like to get to know if it cool with you maybe we can exchange number so we can talk and hook up on day because you look cute and i look cute so what it do holla back sweetheart ps com my pics

I guess he heard that run-on sentences realllly turn me on. Ooh baby, deny!

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Filed under Comedy, Culture, Dating, Flirting, random

Is Tina Fey a Muppet?

Screenwriter Brian Lynch makes the case that 30 Rock is a rip-off of The Muppet Show.

See, you’re thinking now, aren’t ya? Click here for his whole case. Oh, and he apologizes for blowing your mind.

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Filed under Comedy, Culture, Entertainment