Category Archives: Health

Throwing Up Makes me Laugh Yo

Overheard while leaving my office building:

“And then he threw up all over me. Projectile vomit everywhere.”

(Giggle giggle) I’ve met many who don’t understand how throwing up is funny, but for those who do, I hope this one is appreciated.


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Let’s Shake a Fist at Those Damned Hollywood Commies

Will Ferrell stands up for the real healthcare victims by

PS I love that the dude from Hero’s only says 3 words…IMPACT

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If They Called It Piggy Flu People Would Be Much Less Freaked Out

F that. Kitty flu.

Now we’re talkin’.

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Funky: Good for the Disco, Not So Much for the Fridge

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to feel productive is to clean out the fridge. No matter when you’ve tackled this task last, there always seems to be some salad dressing or tupperware container that somehow made its way through the your last dissection. Oh it’s back there alright, working on some community planning and expanding, just taking up space. That Italian vinaigrette may seem unsuspecting, but it’s anxiously waiting to take your nose for a  pungent ride on your next sniff test.

Now, when living with roommates, this cleaning out process becomes more of a production. Some of us have different takes on expiration & sell by dates, and whether or not you can cut around the mold on that cheese or not. (Sidenote: One of my earliest memories is my dad suggesting that we spoon off the mold from leftover SpaghettiOs. I, of course, told my mom, to which he very much insisted he was joking. Right, Dad. That’s an “uh-oh” alright.)

Anyway, if you move into a place that already has people in it, like me, you won’t know whose food is whose or any of that jazz. So, after several months of residence, my 2 year veteran roommate and I took on the almighty condiments. Today’s winner? A not so innocent jar of mint chutney: expiration 1/2005. Honestly, I still don’t even know what this is, nevermind how it managed to camp out in our fridge for over four years, and now I guess I’ll never know what its intended to look like.  A jar of bread and butter pickles from 8/2005 came in at a close second. Other unearthed items include at least 4 jars of jalepenos–all of which are still good, strangely enough–and 3 containers of mustard (including expired Grey Poupon, swanky swanky now!)

So now that I’ve inspired you, or grossed you out, I encourage you to go scope out your own fridge. Take on those condiments. Getting rid of that old Ragu just might be more satisfying than you’d think.

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Oh Hey, It’s National Condom Week

Ever get self conscious about purchasing condoms? Many do, but trust that this won’t happen to you:

What you will experience is the satisfaction of knowing that you’re being safe and respecting yourself and your partner. Used properly, condoms are 98% effective. Trojan will even send you some for free.

National Condom Week is Feb 14-21. Check out Planned Parenthood for more information, and be sure to stick with the old “no glove, no love.” Use one every time.

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