And maybe one day, I’ll make a whole blog out of these alone…
28-year-old Anthony, whose profile features a small child I’m assuming to be his son flippin’ the bird Xs 2, writes:
i know we dont know one another but i wanna say u are as beautiful as a goddess with that body of art names anthony and ur eyes and smile is of a angels.so what are u up to? and i bet u are a smart girl too very nice
I hadda read through this one a couple of times to follow. Are my pictures a work of art? Am I alone a work of art? This is the less cocky, trying to mean well attempt. It’s also why everyone should use punctuation. Sigh. Sorry buddy. Denied!
J Gutta writes:
you look very sexy i would like to get to know if it cool with you maybe we can exchange number so we can talk and hook up on day because you look cute and i look cute so what it do holla back sweetheart ps com my pics
I guess he heard that run-on sentences realllly turn me on. Ooh baby, deny!
Alright, this one is definitely a good one. “MrRecession” writes:
hello pretty lady.. I wish I was your pillow, so you could drewl all over me..
Ya like that one? SO I COULD DREWL ON HIM. Hmm, couple of things:
- MrRecession, eh? How’s that handle workin’ out for ya?
- LINE. And not even just A line, but a line that is meant for ME to fawn over YOU. Not entertaining enough to be cocky.
- Spell check. Drool, buddy. You want me to drool on you. Oof, this girl needs a man with good grammar, g.
I know it’s tough ladies, but yet again, I’m gonna have to go with deny– just let me know if you’re interested though. I can certainly see the appeal here.
Name: Danny lee
Friend Request sent. No picture. Message as follows:
dang boo you is sexy
Gee, as much I love profiles with next to no information and friend requests with no intent at even being fake internet friends, Danny lee ain’t my boo tonight. Oh, and PS, while his status is single, his mood is “TAKEN”–apparently, his girlfriend made him his page. V. classy.
hey sweetie..i know someone as cute as you has a full phonebook , but do you think you can try to squeeze my number in?
going with an old classic, eh? hmm… ya can’t just jump right to the phone number because you used both “cute” & “sweetie.” in this case, d is for deny.
I love lame pick up attempts on Myspace. I can’t even say pick up lines, because in many cases, these suitors are lucky if they can formulate a complete sentence, never mind something one might consider a “line.”
I’ve decided that it’s just no fun keeping all of their talk about looking for a “good woman” to myself. From now on, I will post all random messages from men on Myspace hoping to “git to no me”
Today’s message comes from phillip, age 27, and reads:
WHATS UP GIRL IM A PHOTOGRA[HER TRYING TO GET KNOW F INTEREST IN A BOY WHOP LOVES COOKING PIZZAS AN PASTAS HIT ME UP
Wait wait, cooking pizzas AND pastas? Guess ol’ phillip here heard a rumor that women like a man who can cook. That sure is terrific, phillip, but ya know what’s funny about that? Well we seem to live THOUSANDS OF MILES away from each other. Guess I won’t be trying those delicious dishes any time soon. Sorry buddy, without hard evidence of these culinary abilities, I’m gonna have to click “deny”